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Saying hello is one of those things. Some people call out a friendly greeting from afar, sometimes accompanied by a cheerful wave. Others remain stubbornly silent, no matter how clearly you say “hello.” Anyone who has ever entered a doctor’s waiting room with a cheerful greeting and been punished with audible silence knows what we’re talking about.
But it’s not just the sick and miserable who sometimes find moving their lips as strenuous as lifting a car with one hand. The same thing happens in the elevator at work, in the bookstore, in the apartment building – even in rural areas, where everyone else greets each other, people are increasingly remaining silent, supposedly mysteriously. When did greeting (or returning a greeting) fall out of fashion?
Conflict avoidance
In any case, you shouldn’t take it too personally if a greeting is not returned, advises clinical and health psychologist Lisa Göschlberger. You may be distracted, lost in thought, or pressed for time – and suddenly you’re lost for words. Then again, learned social behavior plays a significant role. Those whose parents taught them as children to greet others politely expect the same from others, because “that’s the proper thing to do.”
Some people, on the other hand, only greet those they know. Others impose strict anonymity on themselves: they prefer to keep their distance from their surroundings. When greeted, they feel irritated and not obliged to welcome back. Sometimes, etiquette or a power imbalance also plays a role: older people expect to be greeted first by younger people, and superiors by employees.
Last but not least, social anxiety and shyness can also play a role in not greeting others, a factor often cited by Gen Z. According to Göschlberger, they avoid greeting others for fear of doing something wrong (practice helps with this) and to avoid conflict. If the latter happens to you, you should not immediately interpret it as rejection, as this is often perceived in a distorted way. Most of the time, we are greeted more often than we are not greeted. With
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