0
0
Even if they are rarely talked about, many parents have favorite children. According to a new meta-study, older siblings, girls, and particularly dutiful and sociable children are preferred. However, the tendency is only slightly pronounced, and the results should be interpreted cautiously in view of the complexity of family processes, says an expert who was not involved in the study.
“Researchers have known for decades that unequal treatment of parents can have lasting consequences for children,” said lead author Alexander Jensen from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, in a statement on the study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin. “This study helps us to understand which children are more likely to be favored—which can have both positive and negative effects.”
According to studies, people whose parents favored them in childhood tend to be more mentally stable. They are also more successful in their careers, tend to have longer-lasting relationships, and are less likely to have behavioral problems. However, little research has been carried out into which children are more likely to be favored, as written by Jensen and McKell Jorgensen-Wells from Western University in London, Canada.
To find out, the duo analyzed 30 studies and databases with almost 20,000 participants, mainly from the USA and Western Europe. They took into account factors such as sibling order, gender, and character traits.
Effects are slightly pronounced but visible
Martin Diewald from Bielefeld University praises the study as “well done.” “In contrast to other studies, this one did not compare children from different families, but actual siblings,” explains the sociologist.
According to the analysis, parents tend to prefer girls more than boys—and surprisingly, this applies not only to mothers but also to fathers. In addition, conscientious, responsible children are more likely to be favored. In both cases, the effects are only slightly pronounced. However, the duo writes that parents should be aware of this.
Sociable children make things easier
“Parents make differences, often unconsciously,” explains Diewald, who was not involved in the study. “Parents are more likely to develop a more familiar relationship with sociable children—because that makes many things easier.”
However, this does not necessarily mean that parents love the other children less; the expert emphasizes and gives an example: mothers and fathers could, for example, give special support to a supposedly disadvantaged—weaker or less talented—child to give them the same opportunities in life.
Unequal treatment is often unconscious
However, the siblings should not perceive this as discrimination. A perceived disadvantage can have lifelong consequences, such as a loss of self-confidence, says Diewald. This can manifest itself in relationships, for example.
Children should know that unequal treatment can also occur unconsciously. “Perceived slights are often not even meant that way,” Diewald emphasizes. “Parents usually try to do right by their children.”
Parents should be transparent about their behaviour with their children to avoid misunderstandings. Lead author Jensen also emphasizes this aspect: “It is crucial to ensure that all children feel loved and supported.”
This post has already been read 53 times!
